Is Your Need For Love And Attention Is Killing Your Love Life?
Is your self-worth hinged on the number of compliments you receive?
When someone tells you how beautiful you are, your self-worth shoots to the moon. But, tomorrow, when no one looks in your direction, and you start feeling like the most unattractive person on planet earth.
You feel like each date you get enhances your sense of self-worth.
The sad reality is, your chronic craving for approval ruins the one thing you want most: a happy, healthy, and long-lasting relationship.
Perhaps you learned your need for approval quite early — from your mother/father, early on in your childhood. In other words, your parents, consciously or unconsciously taught you that your worth is reliant on your ability to make others happy (usually at the expense of your own needs and desires).
Until you give up your need for approval, you will not be able to connect with your real self. Only then will you fully understand your worth as a person. Only then will you love yourself regardless of whether other people love you back or not.
Here are three ways in which this need for approval is harming your love life.
- You lose yourself in relationships
You always put your significant other’s needs and desires before your own. You think making him happy would mean the relationship is “working.” You control your actions and behaviors to become what you think he wants you to be. Then he would be happy, and you would feel loved. Right!?
Wrong. Inevitably, you will do something that will not make him happ…and this will lead you to a disagreement. Of course, you will start to try harder to become who you think he wants you to be. Over time, you can’t even recognize the person you’ve become.
This constant search for approval from your partner creates a vicious cycle. Once you lose your sense of self, your partner begins to withdraw emotionally because they no longer recognize you as the person that attracted them in the first place. This cycle is self-sabotaging.
- You consistently attract emotionally unavailable partners
Attracting emotionally unavailable partners and losing yourself go hand in hand.
When you seek approval in an intimate relationship, it’s often because you didn’t receive sufficient love and support from a significant person in your life as a child. To fill up your childhood wounds, you seek validation from your partner.
Most of us hate admitting this, but the reason we attract certain types of people is that our relationships are a reflection of our self-worth. Until we recognize and heal our wounds, we continue choosing partners who reflect this sense of damaged self-worth onto us.
- You feel incomplete without a relationship
If you think that to be worthy of love,
- you need to work very hard to put everyone’s needs and happiness before your own
- you believe that others need you to make them happy
- if you fail at making others content, you wouldn’t be worthy of their love you’d always feel incomplete.
When you feel incomplete without a relationship, you feel you are unworthy of love unless there is external validation. You believe what you have to offer is worthless and therefore, so are you.
Ultimately, we shouldn’t blame ourselves for any of this. It’s all very natural: we feel the need for approval simply because we seek to love. But we also need to realize the irony here: it’s this very need for approval that tends to drive real love away.
With patience and the right tools, you can overcome the need for approval and attract the love you desire.
If you want to be in long-term relationships but
- fear rejection
- have anxiety about commitment
- problems arise from your past experiences
- have unrealistic expectations about what relationships are, lead you to end things.
If your ability to trust and be 100% involved has been a lost art in your life because the benefits of trying to trust somebody are overshadowed by the possibility of getting hurt by your significant other,
Then we need to talk today!
My mission is to help intelligent single women to experience TRUE LOVE; to attract the Right Man and build a fantastic relationship Effortlessly by using energies, mindset, new actions and a simple 5 step system for permanent amazing results. 💕
It’s not easy, but it is simple – most women just don’t know-how.
I love to work with women who are hungry and ready to transform their lives: women who have decided they want to love, are committed to making it happen, and are not willing to let external circumstances stand in their way. 💕
If that’s you, let’s talk! I have a few spots this week. Just grab a time that works for you for a complimentary Breakthrough Session with me:
Warning: This is Session is NOT for you if:
You are interested in finding love, but not ready to commit.
You think love comes by itself and not aware that you are self-sabotaging and blocking the process of attraction.
You have a weak masculine side and have trouble to manifest your desire to work life and financial stability.
Founder of Bloom your Love Life
4 thoughts on “Is Your Need For Love And Attention Is Killing Your Love Life?”
Hola y gracias por este blog es una verdadera inspiración .. Arlen Farr Laurella
Thank you. 🙂
A good blog! I will bookmark a few of these.. Rosemaria Jodi Clere
Thank you. 🙂